A lot can change in a few/6 months or so.

There will be more posts after I’ve pondered about what to write!

Fear not, you will be entertained.

Was looking for the Gabriel Method forums online and cannot seem to find them anywhere? I go away for a few months and are they gone?

Why?

Who?

And if they are still around then WHERE??

If anybody knows please let me know.

Looks like I’ve gone away to go find myself and finally returned to comment on the progress.

So. Recap shall we.

I have polycystic ovaries.

After about 3-4 months of doing the Gabriel Method I realised a few things about why I wans’t loosing weight and why nothing was apparently happening.

1.) I hadn’t worked out all my ‘negative’ emotions that were holding me back. Apparently if you haven’t sorted that stuff out then you are (for want of a better word) a shite out of luck. I found that it was great that Jon Gabriel made the deduction that if you are holding onto some deep seeded past issue then yeah. it’ll make you fat but I found that I needed SOLUTIONS.

2.) Having polycystic ovaries means that my body isn’t doing what a normal body should be doing. Amongst other things I get random bouts of depression, mood swings, massive weight gain, sugar cravings and I no longer have a normal menstrual cycle any more. Joy.

These being the reasons why I wasn’t loosing weight I felt the need to go off and… well find my own solutions to these issues.

Took me awhile to get my head around all of it but eventually it all came to a head and I had some exceptional advice from a friend and instead of changing from the ‘outside-in’ I started changing from the ‘inside-out’. Found this was primary if I was ever going to change ANYTHING.

The piece of advice shared with me was that even if I couldn’t change what happens or happened or even what people say I could change how I felt and reacted to them. Essentially changing the way I thought about things. Such a small bit of advice can make such a large difference….

So I started going to the gym, every day for 6 days out of a week for every week for the last 8 weeks. No thoughts about giving up or not wanting to go. No self pity thoughts when something comes up and I can’t go. I just…. go?

And I developed this new sense of calm. Its like the patience fairy whacked me with her stick and now all of a sudden I have been imbibed with unfaltering patience and a REAL good attitude to loosing weight.

Funny that huh?

So thats where I’m at right now. Haven’t ventured back down the path of the Gabriel Method again – YET as I am looking at a couple of options to heal myself first.

Ciao for now.

S x

So how the hell have I been? Most seriously have most definately been BETTER.

Having PCOS has been a challenge. Thats an understatement but then again I am lucky to not have it to the extent of other people.

Perhaps most of my challenge is in my head. Probably.

Unfortunately, depression in whatever degree is a side effect of having PCOS. Now I’m not one to have depression and its a first for me. A very profound feeling is how I would describe it. Like not wanting to do anything for not really any good reason. It feels like despair. Like a downward snowballing spiral. Most times I can catch myself before it gets TOO intense other times I feel like a crazed cat woman that doesn’t have human interaction.

Greeeeeeeeeeeeat.

Everyone wants to be friends with a crazed cat lady. Not.

Applying the Gabriel Method whilst with this has been interesting. More on that later!

It should be noted that by no means am I looking for any sympathy or looking to have a moan with this post. What I’m doing is trying to make sense of a new situation. I’m looking to accept it, deal with it and come out on the other end wiser and hopefully skinnier.

So here’s whats up.

Today I went to the doctor to go through some blood tests I had about a month back. I was getting a bit worried because my.. ‘womanly times’ were not flowing as normal as they should so I decided to go for some tests to rule out all possible things.

To make things clear to friends and family so you don’t read the post looking for this – no, I’m not pregnant.

Good, now that thats out of the way….

Didn’t wanna be setting off anybodies fat programs or giving any old people a heart attack!

So I got my results back today.

Turns out, judging from my hormones or should I say an excess of my hormones  – I am likely to have somethings called…

Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.

My hsh and I think my hs levels are high, my cholesterol high-ish and my male hormones numbering in the high aswel.

A ‘vicious cycle’ of weight gain and hormone imbalance then more weight gain then more hormone imbalance – blah blah blah and the cycle goes around.

The most notable of sources – Wikipedia (not), tells me that this disorder is ‘common’ and affects about 5 – 10% of women in the ‘reproductive age group’. Cheer’s Wiki – way for making me feel common in a not so common way.

I am also told that it is possibly genetic. Awesome. That will be a great conversation with my mother.

Skyebro: “Oh mum, do we have many women in our family with POS?”

Mum: “POS POS WHAT??”

Skyebro: “Polycystic Ovarian Syndrom – POS is an acronym”

Mum: ‘Awkawrd pause’ – “Why?”

Skyebro: “Erm…”

Mum: “Oh…” Followed by snuffled pause where of which you can hear her eyes getting wide and the thoughts processing.

Skyebro: “Yeah mum, ‘oh’ is right”

Though the conversation did not go like that, I would imagine someone, somewhere would have had one like it.

—————————————-

Did a bit of surfing around the net and I found some particularly bleak information around it. Seriously, this does not bode well for my FAT programs but hey – lifes not without ups and downs huh?

• from http://www.womenshealth.gov/faq/polycystic-ovary-syndrome.cfm#j

Health Problems

Women with PCOS have greater chances of developing several serious health conditions, including life-threatening diseases. Recent studies found that:

• More than 50 percent of women with PCOS will have diabetes or pre-diabetes (impaired glucose tolerance) before the age of 40.
• The risk of heart attack is 4 to 7 times higher in women with PCOS than women of the same age without PCOS.
• Women with PCOS are at greater risk of having high blood pressure.
• Women with PCOS have high levels of LDL (bad) cholesterol and low levels of HDL (good) cholesterol.
• Women with PCOS can develop sleep apnea. This is when breathing stops for short periods of time during sleep.

Women with PCOS may also develop anxiety and depression. It is important to talk to your doctor about treatment for these mental health conditions.

Women with PCOS are also at risk for endometrial cancer.

Irregular menstrual periods and the lack of ovulation cause women to produce the hormone estrogen, but not the hormone progesterone.

Progesterone causes the endometrium (lining of the womb) to shed each month as a menstrual period. Without progesterone, the endometrium becomes thick, which can cause heavy or irregular bleeding. Over time, this can lead to endometrial hyperplasia, when the lining grows too much, and cancer.

This is what CAN happen though. Not the bottom line in my case my doctor said.

She told me that I could control it early and the way to do that is to loose weight.

Yup there’s that phrase again ‘loose weight’. Now, she did not say it to me in a ‘O.M.G your fat and its your fault for doing it’ sort of way. It was a understanding sort of thing and I didn’t get the ‘eye’ either for being the ‘big girl with health issues’ either.

So here’s the dilly – I have to loose weight and my hormones and that should reverse and get back to normal which will in turn mean good things for my ovaries and my ‘womanly cycles’. Now obviously it is better in this situation to loose weight now rather than later and I NEED to loose weight lest I loose my child bearing properties and become something similar to an old lady with many cats.

That’s what we DON’T want. Push the old cat lady image to the side for a moment.

I have to loose weight somewhat soon however I am opposed to doing it the routine way of ‘normal dieting’. I would like for the Gabriel Method to be the shovel, nay, the big arse digger that heaves me out of this shit hole but I am unsure as to whether weight loss over a long period of time is something I can wait for.

PERPLEXED MUCH???

Gah!

If anybody has any info or comment to make please feel free to do so.

Signed,

Annoyed and Perplexed x

Well, well, well – I feel a little celebratory jigg is in order.

Why you ask?

WELL! I have been told… wait for it… that…. I am…. a…. toxic dump waiting to happen!

Not feeling my vibe? That’s alright, it may sound a lil off, but do not be fooled this my friends this is a GOOD thing! So good in fact – that it means good things in my life, good things for my body and god damn good things for turning off those slippery FAT switches!

I feel that it also may be a signal that I have turned off some of those nagging FAT switches! Oh for joy, oh for joy. I’m a tad happy bout this, as you may have noticed but let me delve into the deeper reasoning behind this fan-tabulous news.

As you may know, I went to one of the Gabriel Method seminars a couple weeks back and had the utter pleasure of meeting some fantastic people and above all the big cheese himself – Jon Gabriel.

I came away with not only more friends, but a bigger understanding. I also was lucky enough to get a copy of Jon Gabriels total transformation package. It has about 11 cd’s and they range from:

• The Night Time Meditation CD
• 4 Discs for Jon Gabriel’s Seminar in Brisbane
• Gabriel Method for Kids CD
• Jon Gabriel presenting his work to the Holistic Assoc CD
• 4 Discs for the Audio Book

Now I’m a ‘understander’ type of person. When I want to understand a theory or an idea I like to exhaust every possible avenue that I can until I feel like I have a good rounded understanding of something. I like to know all possible inns and outs and also like to have a very VERY clear idea of it in my head so when someone asks me about it – I can explain it fully.

After these last few months of gathering, pondering and researching I think that I, Skyebro, understand the Gabriel Method now. And Boy let me tell you, once I understand something – I’m off!

Not to say that I was never ‘off’ these last few months but the way I am as a person in terms of understanding something I NEED to get my head around it fully. I would say that these last few months have been what I would call an excellent time! From these last few months I was able to pool all my research into one solid gold understanding.

I’m going to use the motor metaphor I used for my partner.

I told him that my approach with the Gabriel Method these last few months has been like someone explaining to me all the separate components of a motor and how each individual part works. What I was lacking was someone putting all the parts together and showing me exactly how they ALL worked TOGETHER.

With that in mind I am now off to contemplate my own existence!

If anybody is looking to follow my Gabriel Method journey on twitter add me! My name is under Skyebro_GMD.

Ciao!

Shake, shake, shake

Oh great, great body tell me – what famine am I in? What am I starving for?

First things first it could be the toxins that are getting put into my body. For example: MSG

Now most companies will not actively put ‘MSG’ on their ingredients list because who in their right mind will want to actively buy something thats addictive and can potentially cause you long term damage so what they do is they ‘sugar coat’ the words (excuse the pun).

Here is a list of the things they CAN call it – if you see any of these on the ingredients list make no mistake – avoid, avoid, avoid!

The List:

Sodium glutamate

Autolyzed yeast
Calcium caseinate
Gelatin
Glutamate
Glutamic acid
Hydrolyzed corn gluten
Hydrolyzed protein (any protein that is hydrolyzed)
Monopotassium glutamate
Monosodium glutamate
Natrium glutamate (natrium is Latin/German for sodium)
Sodium caseinate
Textured protein
Yeast food
Yeast extract
Yeast nutrient

Realising that MSG isn’t my friend has triggered something weird aswel. I seem to only eat when I feel hungry and I’m not ‘planning’ to eat food anymore or even as much anymore. Also when I suspect that there might be MSG in the food I’m eating I start feeling reeeeeeal ill.

I think I’ve worked up some mental aversion to MSG because if I feel I can taste it – I then make a mental note to not eat this type of food again.

If anyone’s ever used the expression something ‘speaks volumes’ – I think my body is trying to communicate with me. Yeah yeah, sounds a little looney I know but it’s not like I’ve just turned around and told you that I see dead people or anything sheesh!

When I eat certain foods that are, shall we say, NOT enriched with the ideal things my body needs then the aaaaah ‘urge’ to go to the toilet is almost overwhelming.

Ick, I know.

Way to communicate body – nice one.

Ah well, I’d rather that than embaressing myself in public with PDG – Public Displays of Gas. Not pretty and not a way to attract friends let me tell you!

On that note I’m working on another post as to why I’m suddenly getting all these urges a new fangled things happening to my body NOW.

Ciao, until next time x

Phhhhhewwww eeeee! Angry much?

Ya darn tooting I am! If this doesn’t get your FAT programs pumping than I don’t know what will.

Read his letter and then read what a friend of mine just recently posted in…

——–

I recently saw that you are running a size fourteen beauty paegant, in politically correct circles I should probably say “good on you for supporting a positive view of women of all shapes and sizes”, But’t'…..

I know that the majority of women in NZ are becoming larger and less capable of meeting stereotypes in the media, and in the sense that these stereo types focus on the superficial, it is true that they are unfair and unrepresentative.

But in relation to being healthy, being thinner is a good thing. Our nation grows fatter by the day, and sicker due to this. Should we really be running paegants that promote being unhealthy. fat women may not like “skinny bitches” but the fact is that the majority of them are usually in better health and less of a burdeon on our health system. Before you pipe up and say, well skinny doesnt always equal healthy, this is true, there are unhealthy skinny women out there, but they are the minority, where as unhealthy women in the larger weight range are the majority.

It appears that you are creating a paegant that focuses on fat as being ok, and make no mistake, clinically, women who are size 14 and over will suffer from weight related illnesses and are fat.

This goes for men also, large man paegants would also be counter intuitive to creating a healthy human being and society.

Just because there are more fat women than there have ever been, and they all feel insecure about how they are viewed, does not mean that being fat suddenly becomes the right thing.

FAT IS BAD… and yes before you piss and moan again, there are some women who are simply large “boned” and will still be thick set even when they are healthy, but this is not the case for the majority, who are simply unhealthy, eat too much and exercise too little.

Im sure there will be women at your work who will read this and be highly offended, they’ll rant and rave at what a pig I am. But this doesnt change the politically incorrect truth, that women who are larger than size 14, are overweight and that they should not be celebrated for being unhealthy. What the hell does that say to our kids, its kool, throw away your health, being obese is beautiful For F**k Sake.

Lets get bloody real!

————————-

My friend responded:

Dearest Polly,

I had the uncanny luck of coming across your competition whilst looking up burlesque lessons in the greater Waikato region. I was highly impressed, not to mention excited at the prospect of entering a competition that embraces lingerie for the fuller bodied beautiful gal. I myself being of the thicker and luscious breed of woman that inhabits the sizing of 14+ – thought it was just a little damn fantastic.

I also had the pleasure of reading a certain letter from an unfortunate douche bag named ‘Dan’.

Dan my boy, may I ask what century are you living in? I see from your letter that you are a ‘man’ that seems to like living outside the politically correct circles. I commend you for that – well done. As far as P.C goes – I think you will also find that the stereotype of ‘skinny is better’ and your entertaining notion of ‘fat is bad’ also falls outside the P.C category. Times have changed and it is unfortunate to see that you have been left behind.

Though I am not a doctor, and I also suspect neither are you – 14+ sized girls are not all destined for weight related illnesses and are not what you call ‘fat’.

The concept that calories in and calories out plus exercise automatically equals healthy is also a very misconceived view. Many people can fall slave to that opinion in the hopes that it will give them a media thin body and a life full of happiness only Hollywood movies could deliver. It does not work out that way buddy. Whatever you consider to be a ‘healthy human being’ or ‘society’ for that matter is your business and opinion. Also take into consideration that most people don’t care what you think either.

Celebrating being a hefty honey is not a cover for having insecurities. What you may find Dan is that happy, and strangely enough, healthy women enjoy getting their kit off and relishing in their own femininity WHATEVER size they may be. Make no mistake there are in fact ‘bitches’ that are ‘skinny’ and thats life – however most of us hold no grudges for our svelte sisters.

I agree, yes let’s get bloody real! My children will grow up happy and healthy with an excellent sense for loving exactly who they are in their bodies by whatever proportions they may be.

On a last note Dan, it is fantastic to know that you are concerned enough with others health to send in your expert opinion. If you’d like mine though I’d say you are a small man with large – nay obese insecurities. Sympathy is what I, and many of my gorgeous and yes large friends feel for you. Perhaps one day you will know what it feels like to be enfolded in the embrace of a girl with soft arms and sizable breasts…

Until then Dan, I wish you all the luck to find that perfect female who fits your perception of a ‘healthy’ human being. However, when you find her – do take the poor b*tch out to eat would you? God knows she’ll probably need it.

Cheers again Polly for the competition,

Portia

———-

YOU GO GIRL! And Dan? Do us all a favour and jump off something high would you.

Your probably thinking in your head – “oh shit, here we go”.

But no, no not like that.

Jon Gabriel’s final word at the seminar was:

Follow your hearts desire – otherwise everything in your life will be a reminder of what your NOT doing

Think about that.

Is it resonating with you on some level?

Is there that quiet voice in the back of your head or a little tug you feel in yourself with that line.

Coming back from the seminar I know that when people asked questions – a lot of them were centred around how exactly to take chia seeds and how much of omega 3′s do we need and what times of the day should we do this that and that and this blah blah blah…

Don’t get me wrong we will get to that…

But, if you ask me the one thing that was reeeeeeally missing (besides the section about children) was the questions, answers and talking about peoples emotional issues.

I know though, that in a room full of strangers people aren’t going spill their guts and have a cry about life. In saying this, some people do and there is NOTHING wrong with that! However, this didn’t really happen.

It could be one of perhaps even THE emotional issue that you haven’t or need to address.

Upon the time you follow your hearts desire everything should start to slowly fall into place. There will be a scary and probably uncomfortable transition period but just let it go and ride the wave until you settle into the destination and what you truly want.

It’s like the lady with the paintings in the book that Jon Gabriel talks about. She was overweight, hated her job, counted calories in and out but loved painting. He later went onto tell her she SHOULD be painting full-time as it was what she loved. Later on he found out she had embraced his advice and in turn her hearts desire to paint. As a result she came to be on the path she wanted to be on and lost the weight almost effortlessly.

In all fairness I am not the magic fairy with all the answers as to what everybodies hearts desire is!

Dang, I can barely work out if I myself am truly on the path most days!

To each their own and to their own their hearts’ desire. I’m not sure whether I just made that up out of thin air or it was from a song or a proverb but you get the gist of it.

Ponder over it friends, are you on the path?